My Life According to Facebook (and the Butthole Surfers)

This is a really stupid entry (as opposed to all the other REALLY clever ones) <---sarcasm (for you slow ones)

I thought I'd post this in my blog because it was kind of fun. Its one of those silly Facebook questionnaire things... I picked my all time favorite band for this...

My Life According to The Butthole Surfers

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Send it on to 20 people including me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Post it as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"


1. Pick Your Artist: Butthole Surfers

2. Are you a male or female? American Woman

3. Describe yourself: Cherub

4. How do you feel: Human Cannonball

5. Describe where you currently live: USSA

6. If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Mexican Caravan

7. Your favourite form of transportation: Dust Devil

8. Your best friends are: 100 Million People Dead

9. Your favourite colour is: Strawberry

10. What's the weather like: Sweat Loaf

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Who Was In my Room Last Night

12. What is life to you: 22 Going on 23

13. Your current relationship: Hurdy Gurdy Man

14. Breaking up: Kuntz

15. Looking for: Something

16. Wouldn’t mind: Creep in the Cellar

17. Your fear: Negro Observers

18. What is the best advice you have to give: BBQ the Pope

19. If you could change your name, you would change it to: John E. Smoke

20. Thought for the day: I saw an XRay of a girl passing gas

21. How I would like to die: Whirling Hall of Knives

22. My motto: Booze, Tobacco, Dope, Pussy, Cars (:P)

I'm a breeder, yes it's true (follow up to yesterday's post)

This will be a short one because I'm gettin' durnk wiff da hubby tonight on some budweiser and jack daniels! woo hoo!! Anyhoo, I'm COMPELLED to write a quick disclaimer about my CHOICE to be a breeder. I LOVE IT!! I love my wittle behbehs so much and even though I have much love and respect for the non-breeders...errr.... I mean, Childfree folks, their words don't actually make me regret being a mom. My kids rock the block!! And I love them very very much and wouldn't 'return' them even if that were something the universe allowed you to do. I should also say that I LOVED being pregnant (HA! TAKE THAT NON-BREEDERS!!) ??? ok too much JD, sorry that was stupid. Anyway, if kids didn't spew carbon into the atmosphere, if they didn't cost almost literally a fucking arm and a leg to have, if they didn't shit or puke or ask stupid questions ALL DAY LONG, I'd probably have about 10 of them by now ;)

Anyway, just needed to get that off my flat boney chest. Thanks for reading!

UPDATE: 8/12/09 I was going to make a whole new entry for this, but can't think of enough to say about it, so just adding it to this.... apparently, I'm not a breeder... DUH! I thought it was just a general term used to describe anyone who has kids, but its not. Childfree folks use it as a derogatory term for people who, for whatever reason (there's tons of different ones) probably should've never had kids. Or I'm thinking maybe people who had kids for ridiculous reasons (self-validation, because Jesus told them to, etc) are worthy of the breeder title. I was complimented by my new favorite blogger that I spoke about in my last entry... she said I was a PNB... Parent Not Breeder. :) Makes perfect sense to me. Anyhoo, just needed to let anybody reading this know that my ignorance on this topic has been corrected. ;) Also, I really really really wish I hadn't been drunk when I wrote this blog last night. I would've titled it better... I'm thinking something like this would've been more funny "I'm a breeder, yes I know, for the Bible tells me so!" and now it's too late... would be too cheesy to change it now... and it's lame that I even mention it at this point.

Shout out to all the non-breeders!

UPDATE: I've been 'researching' this and they're not called non-breeders. They prefer Childfree. Just needed to preface this with a pc disclaimer :P

I'm not really sure if 'non-breeder' is the correct term for people who make an emancipation proclamation for themselves to never have kids. I've never put much thought into or read much from people who make said proclamation but I had heard of their existence before now. Last night I was perusing this Blogger site for some interesting bloggers to follow. I found my friend, Rickie's poetry blog and followed that. Found some other blog and blindly followed that as well, then I found a blog called You Are Not Special. If you know me at all, you know this title is very attractive to me, so I clicked it and started to read. I only had time to read her latest blog entry which was titled "Breeder Bingo" and it was friggin' hilarious! I loved it! She basically runs you through all the FAQ's she gets assaulted with regarding her choice not to breed. She had me cracking up laughing at statements like "just because I didn't shart a baby out my vag-hole" etc etc.... As I read this deliciously talented comedic writer, I found myself a bit envious... for one, she is a more gooder writter then me is, but also she so perfectly described how she feels about being a non-breeder that even if she didn't impress me with her good writtingship and excellent sense of perfect humor I completely understood and even related to her decisions, despite being already 'locked-in' to motherhood.

Its funny I ventured into her blog when I did. It was a stark contrast to yet another blog by yet another woman I had accidentally stumbled into just the day before. This other blogger was a breeder (like me) but also a bible-thumper (very much NOT like me) and her blog was called "Something Femininity" or some crap. Now, I don't have a problem with femininity... shit, I'm just as feminine as the next guy *scratches ass* but I was extremely insulted and offended (YES! even I get offended sometimes) by this 20-something year old twit and her antiquated, backlash ideas of what being feminine is. The title of her latest entry was "More Feminist Hypocrisy". She proclaimed that 'feminists' are CONSTANTLY haranguing her with insults and criticisms about her dutifully following God's code of conduct regarding femininity, which is, of course, (in a nut-job-shell) to serve her husband by home-schooling his offspring. This 20-something (I have to mention her age because, I mean, come on, at 20-something years old you've got it all figured out amirite?!) felt feminism devalues women who choose to stay home and care for their children. Furthermore, feminists unjustly over-glorify the woman who chooses career-life over wifery and mom-dom. I respectfully submitted a comment telling her she has no clue what feminism is if she truly believes what she wrote. I told her she is misguided by the misogyny filters that misinterpret feminism to dissuade the masses from seeing women as equals to men. Any REAL feminist would support a woman's choice to do whatever the hell she wants with her life. I was really disappointed but not surprised to find that she had her comments filter on so that she could 'approve' any comments before they got posted (fucking pussy!) so I figured she wouldn't post what I had to say. I figured this because the other 5 comments before mine were all from women who inflated her ego with putrid affirmations and bullshit lies about their own experiences of being supposedly mocked for being stay-at-home mothers.

A few hours later, much to my surprise she actually DID post my comment, but not without making a rebuttal of her own. In her rebuttal to me she, this 20-something, proceeds to give me a little lesson about feminism. Apparently, I am the one who fails to look into the heart of feminism and I'm obviously basing my assessment of feminism on a few cultural 'fringe' feminists. My initial reaction to that is FUCK YOU!! I AM a fucking feminist OKAY!! I was raised by a feminist. I'm also nearly twice your fucking age, asshole! I think those reasons alone qualify me as a higher authority of what 'the heart of feminism' is! You've been sexually mature for what? a whole five years!!?? WTF do you fucking know beyond your home-schooled brats and your biblical oppressions?! Nothing! That's what! So, of course, I left another comment, and of course, she didn't publish the 2nd one. Again, I was respectful enough in telling her that if she truly was being harrassed about her "decision to be a home-schoolin', bible teachin', feminine feelin wife and mother" by women claiming to be feminists then I have to either call bullshit on her or bullshit on these women and their feminist affiliations. The real truth of the matter is, she was delusional. I know this because I have suffered delusional self-righteousness syndrome, myself. I was... right around her age, in fact when it flared up the worst. It took a little over a decade or so of drudging through motherhood and wifedom to shake it off. I finally become humble enough to learn from others and the things that are different about them.

Just because someone chooses to be different from you does not mean they are 'mocking' you or putting you down for choosing to go a different route. I don't think you have to be a feminist, or even all that smart, to figure out that a woman speaking from a true feminist platform would not put a woman down for choosing to dedicate her life to raising her children. And you know what? Some women like to crack jokes about women who choose to "change shitty diapers and clean up toddler vomit" for a living. So the fuck what?! Why do you care?! Changing shitty diapers and cleaning up toddler vomit FUCKING SUCKS!!! And this oughta kick you in the pants... I don't really do it all that much. My husband is my stay-at-home-shit-cleaner-upper... I crack a whip and he changes that shit! DAMN STRAIGHT!! (just kidding honey) The puking does suck the worse though. Holy shit, my five year old, Zain, had some kind of digestive problem or something when he was about 3-ish. The doc gave him some meds and it went away (I'm a terrible mother, I don't pay attention to the names of stuff) Man that kid would puke something awful and he was so fucking stupid about it!! Obviously, I wouldn't actually yell at my 3 year old sick baby for puking all over the god damn fucking carpet, AGAIN!! when there's a god damn fucking puke bucket RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR HEAD, but noooo... your dumb ass is gonna push the bucket aside and puke in a BRAND NEW spot on the BRAND NEW rug!! I would be lying if I said it wasn't a struggle to keep from screaming this at the top of my lungs at him. I would also be lying if I said I didn't mumble those exact words under the sounds of his heeving. Poor kid :(

Anyway, my point is... some women are blessed.... hell, I'll even go so far as to say God Blessed with the gift of not being afflicted by the dreadful genetic trait of wanting a 'cute wittle behbeh' that most other women (and men) are afflicted with, myself included. Being a parent is hard and it does suck (sometimes) and my husband and I tell our kids just how much they suck (insert another sometimes disclaimer) all the time. Of course we do it in a joking manner so we don't completely fuck them up, but we also tell them when it feels good being a parent and when they make us proud. So it's nicely balanced. My kids are AWESOME for it too, if I may be one of those annoyingly proud parents! They're not conceited, they're considerate of others, they don't think the world rotates around them, and most of all they love me just the way I am, not just because I'm their mom. You're really missing out if you don't approach parenthood this way.

As I sit here, though, I do have to ask myself a few questions. Why am I so 'offended' by the dim-witted breeder's blog yet so impressed with the sharp-witted non-breeder? I'm a breeder. Shouldn't I be more impressed with the breeder over the non-breeder? The answers to those questions come very quickly to my mind. The non-breeder confirms what I pretty much already knew.... my choice to be a 'breeder' is exactly that... MY choice! No one and nothing else's. Its not some requirement in validating my existence or femininity. If that's what validates your existence, fine, I don't give a crap. I don't think you're doing your kids any favors by being that way, though. I believe my kids would appreciate knowing I chose to breed them despite having to make many sacrifices to do so.

Speaking of sacrifices, I was reading an article on Mother Jones the other day that said (copy/pasted) scientists at Oregon State estimated that, under current conditions, each American child adds 9,441 metric tons of CO2 to the average mother's lifetime carbon legacy, nearly six times the carbon footprint of a childless American woman. Oopsy, I've shart 3 babies out my vag-hole now. My carbon footprint, much like my gaping vag-hole, is about the size of the Grand canyon. (The rumble of my queefs tops out at 6.8 on the richter scale, srsly!) I'm worth 18 times more pollution on this precious earth than a non-breeder... that's rather depressing.... Ah well, what're ya gonna do? I drive a small car, recycle my plastics, and keep the a/c down to 79... is that gd'enuff? :shrugs:

Also, one last thing before I close out this entry.... I was reading that hot topics board on that mommy website yesterday and some chick posted a thread titled "Hopechest". Certain that upon opening it I would find a wall-of-text rant about what a ridiculous and disgusting tradition this is, I blinked in shock and horror as I read what was actually being said. I'll paraphrase what I read "I want to teach my daughter to validate her existence with a man and a baby (and maybe even some big fake titties, someday... one can only hope) so I got her a hopechest but I'm out of ideas of what to fill it with. I know I want to put my great Aunt Ina's wedding dress in there, ummm some baby booties, and duhhh maybe some cake recipes and umm well, I don't know what else LOL, what do you guys suggest?" It took every fiber of my being to not post the following reply: "Here's my list of what you should put in there.... a bottle of scotch, a bag of weed, a shit-ton of rubbers (ribbed for her pleasure, of course), and a cheat sheet for her college entrance exam." But, I didn't... I know, I'm lame, but my inner-troll wasn't very hungry at that time... maybe some other time. Speaking of hungry... I need a snack! Where's my bitch when I need him?! >:(

ttfn

I am feminist, Praise Allah!

So, in my first entry of this blog I confessed my immature actions on a mommy website. The things I learned from that experience were an excellent reaffirmation of my feminist beliefs. I even learned more about them. Through my self-assigned studies I discovered a blog by this guy http://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2009/07/the_natural_basis_for_inequali.php some anthropologist who reminds us, after a VERY LONG demonstration of how we use naturalistic models to explain certain human behaviors and traits, that we can not use these models to justify any form of injustice or inequality with unfair consequences.

I also did my research on the feminist movement in the middle east and through this I experienced yet another reaffirmation. As I always suspected, world peace is in the hands of woman. She is the only one who can unlock that door, but right now man is acting like a spoiled brat with his back pinned up against the door, blocking the keyhole. One thing I knew for certain during my antagonizing of a couple of western idiots on that mommy website forum noted in this blog's very first entry is that Muslim women have actually had more 'power' and 'freedom' than Christian and sometimes even Jewish women throughout history. Here's an interesting excerpt from an essay written by Elizabeth Warnock Fernea:

Some observers have recently suggested that the outrage against Islam in the Christian medieval world had much to do with the revolutionary -- for the time -- Muslim pronouncements about women. What kind of religion would allow women to inherit? According to medieval thought, women were not capable of handling money. Economic rights like inheritance were not granted to women in England until the Married Women's Property Act in the mid-19th century. Until 1970, in some states in America, daughters still did not automatically inherit, particularly if valuable assets like farmland were at stake. Unless the father specifically designated his daughter as heir, and if there no brothers, the land passed to the nearest male relative. Muslim women have had better rights since 632 AD.

Here is a link to the full essay:

http://www.crescentlife.com/thisthat/feminist%20muslims/islamic_feminism_finds_a_different_voice.htm

Interesting, but what about the jihab? Well, it is something to be misunderstood by a western non-religious woman such as myself. I should not be expected to understand how that would feel to have different social positions in life, even something as trivial as how I dress. In my mind, there shouldn't be any inequality. The laws of decency in a western society, such as America, should be equal for both men and women. For example, our nude torsos should be given equal opportunity as a man's nude torso. Obviously, a person who thinks like this cannot possibly think Muslim women who veil themselves are anything but 'oppressed, baby making machines'. Right? Well, here's a wildflower of epic proportions for you... if she lived like that in the western world, that would be all she represented. Sorry, but its true. At least in my fantasy land it is. But in the realm of womanhood, the Islamic feminist movement, even amongst women of clergy and those that wear the jihab, is what I believe will be the key to world peace, specifically starting with peace in the middle east. But the womans movement in the Middle East as explained in that article, is largely being perpetrated through religious means. For example, women are currently fighting cases where their rights are threatened by misinterpretations of ancient religious texts. They are using these texts to win their cases. They are playing the game! They know how the system works in Islam. They know how cultures work in the Middle East. This is a region that does not know the concept of seperation of church and state. It doesn't have to. Even in the West most people believe in basically the same Abrahamic described deity as they do in the Middle East, and many politicians wield their beliefs when representing themselves during the work of governing. But the liberal west feels that religion should play no role in legal governing, so the religious actions of feminists comes off as being barely visible to anyone, even those with interest in Peace, from the western world.

I have no problem seeing it for what it really is; women learning to play the game to gain their rightful place in their communities and to protect her vested interests in them. That sounds like I'm accusing the woman of Islam of being sneaky or devious about her endeavours for high religious status, which the jihab mainly represents, but I'm not. She is literally just now learning to play this game. The literacy rate among women in most ME countries in the late 1960s early 1970s was roughly 2%. Now its over 50% with at least half of all university students in the middle east being women. Women in america can't even boast that yet, by the way. (Latest figures show approximately 42/58 women to men ratio.) But what Middle Eastern women have figured out what to do is appeal to Man's sensibilities in regards to religious beliefs. Middle Eastern Muslim practices are largely impartial in terms of legal rights between the 2 sexes. But that's only when they are not the extremist versions of Muslim practice that, in these tumultuous times, mimmic the perceptions of Western aggression towards Muslims. At one time, in the early days of Christianity, Muslims were immediately denoted as heretics by the earliest Crusading Christians. It was God's will to exterminate them if they could not be converted. These are the most fundamental origins of the mistrust and misunderstanding that still exists between Muslim cultures and Christian and Jewish cultures. This extremism doesn't exist everywhere in the Middle East, of course. Shia movements, for example, certainly exhibit more liberal views to women therefore are also more conducive to medeating towards Peace. Christian and Jewish women are no where near being able to 'quiet' their men the way the woman of Islam is, we still have so much to learn, myself included.

So, another little side project I assigned myself was to make a 'feminist' ad video to the backdrop of a cool 90s all girl hardcore punk band, L7. I worked all last weekend on it. Its pretty stupid and trite, but the music kicks ass and I had a lot of fun learning how to use Windows Movie Maker. Here's the video for you to enjoy: FUEL MY FIRE

My two oldest boys (my husband and my 14 year old) teased me all weekend because of this silly little project. "Oh mom's going through another one of her lets-hate-men-and-become-a-lesbian phases again!" Of course they joke (they think they're funny, its kinda cute), because they know me and know I don't hate men and am not interested in being a lesbian. One cool thing about the people I share this flimsy house with is we all have a terrific sense of humor. To us, humor is serious business! We may be the only ones that find ourselves funny, but that works for us....

Anyway, after working on this for a few days and finally getting it uploaded to youtube, the day after I published it was VERY discouraging. I discovered my audio had been yanked from my 'video' on youtube. My audio file was being blocked by every video hosting site I could find. It wasn't passing through their copyright filters which is total BS!! It doesn't violate copyright laws regarding music. Its just their robotic filters that block it. Youtube's pretty cool, though. They let you dispute it and they review your material to make sure, but until you pass their process, they don't let you play the copyrighted audio. I could've left the video up until the dispute was resolved, but it was so stupid without the hardcore song!! I was so mad I just yanked it off of there and said "OH FUCKING FORGET IT!" LOL

My husband seemed to think its the copy of the song I was using. It was the .wmv version converted directly from the original artist's CD. I didn't think he was right, and still don't know for sure. He decided to use his limewire account (which he hates to use because he got in a little trouble using them once) and he found a regular .mp3 copy and downloaded it for me. He thinks it doesn't have copyright codes and was certain would pass the filters. (He was wrong, but it was still so sweet that he even tried). He doesn't know how to use Windows Movie Maker though, so when he decided to test his theory he enlisted the help of my 14 year old son, Vlad. Vlad is an inspiration to me. He makes videos like this as a hobby and has for several years. Both of us got into making machinima videos of our video game play. He was also a video editor for his Jr High news program for 2 years so he's very proficient at this kind of stuff (more-so than I anyway :P).

So he pulls up the video on my pc to swap out the audio and he decided to watch it in full and critique it. How nice. (pfft!) I was at work during this time that these two boys of mine decided to jump in and surprise me with some help. I had a relatively light day. Just had a few appointments in the morning and was home by 1-ish. I come home to find them working together on my video. At first I was ticked off because I thought they were doing something rude to it as a joke. Which was probably their first idea, I'm sure. But instead my son 'fixed' it for me. He added more images that were really cool and did an awesome job at lining up quick flashes of pictures to go along with a drum roll. I can't do stuff like that very well. Compared to me he's a pro! I was so proud of both my boys for setting aside their manly sensibilities (crude boyish sense of humor) to help me finish my 'lesbian ad campaign' as they call it. (If you go to the video you'll see a poster by the name of Sharpmuffin who left a nice little comment. Yeah, that's Vlad. Haha) Also, if you go to that video link I provided earlier in this post you will see that the video is in fact up and running, but that's only because I learned how to play the game. When I disputed the copyright claim I didn't copy and paste the Copyright Laws into the proper sections of the dispute form at first. Once I figured out where to place the exact verbage, my video was able to go live. With the help of my little men, we got our feminism video uploaded for all the world (with internet access) to see.

This story was so awe-inspiring to me... I don't know which this is, art imitating life or life imitating art... that whole concept confuses me, but it always happens to me (whichever one is the correct description). I also don't know if I'm just some fruitcake that goes around treating every little thing that happens to me as though it has symbolic meaning or if every little thing that happens to me really does have symbolic meaning... honestly, it really doesn't matter. Either way, its very enjoyable.

The Eulogy Disguised as a Rant

I posted this 'eulogy' of sorts on a website forum a week or so ago that doesn't know who Julie Faulk is. I thought I'd dress it up a bit and post it here. Thanks.


Bad day at Publix rant and other stories

So, I decided to take Seth, my nearly 6 month old baby to the grocery store with me tonight. I hardly ever take him out with me and thought it would be fun. Paul, my husband, says its just because I want to show him off and that's absurd! That is such an immature and distasteful reason and of course, 100% the truth. I figure I can use the special pregnancy parking space because its for moms who are pregnant and who have infants. I found this out for sure by asking the manager a few months ago if mothers with infants applied and he said "Absolutely!" They have 2 stork parking spaces and really the chances of 2 pregnant women and/or women with infants shopping at that store at the same time are rare. (The surrounding neighborhoods are all blue-hair villages.) So, I actually get excited about this and once again Paul VICIOUSLY accuses me of just wanting to park there to help draw attention to the fact that I have a cute little baby in tow, which once again is ludicrous and terrible behavior for a mother, but of course, once again 100% true.

So, we get to the parking lot, Zain, Seth, and I and as I circle the section where the stork parking is located I notice THEY TOOK THEM OUT!! Ohhhh I was LIVID! I was OUTRAGED!! RAWR ARGGH RAWR!!! How DARE THEY!! I'm writing someone!! I'm talking to a manager!!! Never mind that the space I did end up parking in was closer than where the old stork space was! Never mind that the reason they got rid of them is because they added new cart returns in the middle of the lot and needed the extra spaces to make up for the ones these new returns take up. Never mind that 2 weeks ago when they first put the new cart returns in I thought it was a FANTASTIC idea and didn't even notice that the stork parking disappeared. I was PISSED!!

I needed to show off my baby and if it wasn't going to happen with the parking space, it was going to happen when I walked around the store until I found a manager to talk to about this terrible injustice gosh dang it!! (I wouldn't actually cuss at the manager.) Well, on my rounds through the store, in my search for some poor sap to feel the fury of this woman scorned, I stopped by the deli to ask my old friend, Dawn, who usually works evenings, what the hell she did to the old stork spaces! Dawn's an old rough-neck buddy that I used to hang with in my wilder, Moon Laker days in jr high and early years of high school and before I could start my rant to my old pal, she starts to tell me about this other, even wilder, girl that used to live 2 trailers down from my trailer *spits out chaw* named Julie. I cringed at that name because that chick was so damn wild! I tell you what. She was from Texas originally. I have no freakin' idea what area, just Texas... anywho she just didn't give a flying fuck what kinda trouble she could get into doing the things she did, she just wanted to fucken do 'em!! (I'm sorry, I have to cuss now because that's what she does.) I was very good friends with her starting from the moment I met her in 7th grade (she talked about head-butting at concerts and Ozzy Osbourne eating rat-heads) and stayed very good friends until mid 10th grade, hanging out every morning on the way to school (we skipped together a LOT and had some really wild times!! Some of the best in my life), every evening after school and almost every weekend during this time period.

My friendship with her ended up spiraling into something I had to let go of because it was actually a bit dangerous. Yeah, seriously! That's how fucking cool this chick is! She's too dangerous to stay friends with. (She's mostly harmless, just too wild and can always be expected to NOT be the one to bail you out of jail because her dumb ass will be stuck in there with yours.) I have seen her from time to time over the years. She had a couple of kids with some asshole, had some problems with said asshole that spanned from TX to FL and ended up settling back in FL raising her kids on her own. Anyway... as this flash of what she represented in my memory works its way to my frontal lobe (mostly good stuff) Dawn says "yeah its so sad did you hear what happened?" Oh shit, I think, I just know what's coming next... please don't.... "yeah, she died of cancer last year, I saw her brother, he has her kids with him now" oh man COME ON!!!

My heart breaks, of course. I'm in a bit of shock and just start thinking of every crazy ass thing I ever did with that wild ass chick and am loving the memories! Obviously, I forget the drama for a second and I'm just standing in the middle of the deli with Zain and Seth as Dawn whisks away to get back to work, so I decide to order some sandwiches. Zain got the turkey and cheese, which is very exciting for us, especially him, because we previously believed his 'poop problems' were caused by some sort of reaction to dairy, particularly cheese so I didn't let him eat it. His pediatrician 'prescribed' him an over-the-counter children's laxative and he can have cheese on his sandwiches now. You've never seen a happier kid. The rest of us get the Ultimate, which has turkey, roast beef, ham and swiss on it. The guy gave me Boar's Head brand for the same price as the generic Publix brand... woo hoo! As memories of Julie head-butt my ability to focus on ordering the sandwiches I think back to her car... It was this AWFUL puke green dirty old mustang mach 3 or mach 2 or warp 8 or what the hell ever and she freaking LOVED that thing. It was a 'rare' classic muscle car, in horrible condition, but she didn't care! Her dad got it for her on her 16th birthday and let me tell you that's when we really started to break bad. All hell broke loose at the wheel of that old bad ass bucket of bolts!

I finally manage to finish ordering our sandwiches and on my way out of the deli I walk over to where Dawn's stocking the fridge cases with macaroni and cheese and I say "you know, one thing about Julie, she sure knew how to live!" and we both just floated through those old crazy memories together by nodding our heads and going "oh yeah!" it was very cool.

RIP Julie, my very dear old friend. (but too damn young to be getting your ass kicked out of hell already!) <3

Carpe Diem